Day 18: Never ending to do list

I think today will be one of my shortest blog posts in the series as I spent most of the day clearing the decks. As sometimes balance is also about removing all those jobs on our desk that need doing. That is what I did today – I sat down and I worked through my list, knocking things off one after another. None of them were amazing or exciting jobs but they were all the tasks that just needed doing. I cannot speak for others but I hold all of these little things in my memory and head and as they build up it creates an overwhelming sense of stress and anxiety. None of them in singular are big but when they come together as a collective I can honestly feel a tightening in my chest, panic and pressure. In order that to begin to progress forward on more creative tasks that require a more open mind and free-flowing spirit, I have to remove this major stressful deterrent. I found balance in just getting rid of the little things and all those jobs that are constantly there and will remain there unless we take them off the list. By doing this today it was as if I could breath again and gave myself the permission to take back the control that these many little weights held over me. I could then have the space in my mind and spirit to focus on the big picture stuff that I enjoy and gain nourishment from. I know in the little stuff is where I often have a lot of stress and I am sure that many other leaders will truly understand what I am alluding to. Even though these jobs maybe be small and seem somewhat insignificant they are constantly on my mind and being held as things that will need to be done later – in this, the task holds the power over me and my mindset. Most have heard the expression that tomorrow never comes, well – it does and I guess it is up to us who owns it – me or that pile of ‘its on my list’. This shows the importance that organisations give employees protected time to just stop and get caught up on all the little things that are impacting on their stress levels and affecting their productivity in the now. Just taking one day and to do all the things that have been adding up in our brain can give it a chance to relax as it has been holding onto these mini weights. I finished today with a massive sense of accomplishment and finally an ability to see tomorrow with a fresh perspective. It was a long day and no great mountains were climbed apart from the insurmountable to-do list. Tick tick and tick… boom

Mantra: take pleasure in knocking off the small stuff

Day 17: Brand… Wellness

Well, I’ve made my list and I’ve checked it twice and everything on it is definitely naughty and/or nice. I guess this sits with the eye of the beholder. I now have the areas that unconsciously call my name whenever I’m feeling stressed, tired, bored or basically low. Today I had a personal training session with Tom and I want to recognise the difference between my pre and post mindset. I have been really enjoying my sessions with Tom. I know that I dragged myself there as I had lots going on – however, I did leave much more alive and more invigorated. This is the message that I need to be sending myself before these sessions, as can you imagine if I entered positive just how much more I would get from the session. This has just hit on a big parallel for me looking at organisations and their internal communication, as it is their job to sell and promote wellbeing in such a manner that individuals embrace it. I think every learning facilitator has experienced the start of a training session and when asking the delegates why they have come, heard the “I was told I had to come” and that they were given no real information that would give them a positive perspective. Much like my internal dialogue is my own personal marketing influencer and sets the stage for how I feel about what is about to happen – the internal comms team must take more ownership on the part they play in promoting wellness and the various opportunities the organisation has available. These should be seen as employee benefits and utilised more to engage employees and build better communities and relationships. I am not getting the full benefits from Tom’s sessions if I am running in 5 minutes late – doing it and then rushing straight back to my desk. This might make my body a little stronger but my mind and spirit are not getting as much out of it. Hence a great internal wellness programme needs to be all encompassing from pre to post and engage employees in the entire journey like any other brand positioning. It needs actions, objectives, information and overarching vision. I need to stop seeing this as a collection of actions but an interwoven and interconnected balance of stimulus that works in harmony to make me stronger, healthier and happier

Mantra: be my own marketer

Day 16: Work/Health Balance

Today was a very busy day as it seems like a lot of things are beginning to happen at Bridge. Coupled with the Balance program, it’s beginning to feel quite overwhelming. On one side I am very fortunate as this project is allowing me to meet many experts on wellness on a variety of subjects and I am learning a lot as I go, however, it is another area that requires my attention. In all of this, I am trying to find more personal balance with regards to wellbeing in my own workplace and daily life. Today I focused on my own resilience and how time pressures can really take its toll on our ability to perform at our best. During periods of such busy schedules, individuals must look at how we manage this workload and still maintain a focus on wellness. I am struggling to build this into my daily activity amongst all the other things I have to commit to – how do people do it? It is so easy to put this on the back burner as the demands of the workplace and others can easily take precedence. Today this was more evident. I had a long dialogue with myself about the things that I should do but I found myself falling back into the habit of putting work first and my health second. The areas that I committed to changing in my health fell by the wayside and I used all the energy to just stay on top of things. I can now see so much more clearly just how quickly the work-life balance can get lost if we do not ensure it plays an active part in our structured day. I am thinking that this is why we need to make the unequivocal commitment to ourselves to break through this barrier in order to give it the time to become part of our DNA. The focus on our wellbeing needs to be threaded into all areas of our lives so that it has strength in numbers and not just one hit wonders like I have been doing for years. I need to be kind to myself and managing this work/health balance needs to be my focus so that it has time to take root and become a new habit. Much like smoking, drinking too much, not going to the gym and negative thoughts find time in our lives – so can more positive influences. Coupled with humility and self-awareness there needs to be a more detailed plan to ensure the outcomes are achieved and health must take equal importance to other things on the ‘to do list’. Old habits are hard to break however, with the right support of others, the right mindset, a clear and agreed plan and a contract with self … umm yea that’s easy!! With all this coming together then we can eventually replace one habit for the other. I truly believe that I can overcome some of the bad habits that I have created by putting work commitments before my own health but it is easier said than done. This mindset shift without question is not going to be simple, as I do find myself falling back into work over health and at this stage of the balance program I feel that I am at breaking point to continue or slowly let it slip. I think I am probably at my most crucial time in needing the support of others because it’s very easy after 3 weeks to start falling backwards. I was given some great advice today and that was to make a list of the 10 things that I must focus on as then my unconscious mind has something to focus on and keep it close to remind my conscious brain of the barriers that I need to overcome. Every transformation needs structure and clear, actionable and transparent goals. To break through this barrier I have to remind myself that I am looking forward to taking on this challenge and it must find space in my busy day. Let’s see how we go…

Mantra: Put my health on the ‘to do list’

Day 15: I Hate Mondays

Today was a bit of a hard day to get going and I am not sure if it was some residual aftershocks from my session with Martin or maybe consuming more alcohol than I should have following it and without question not eating a balanced diet on Sunday have not helped. All this has not left me feeling full of beans today. It is important to recognise that not every day it’s going to be great and with a more conscious mindset I can see how different influences can have negative impacts on my overall wellbeing. I had to smile today as I overheard three people on the underground all discussing how they hate Monday’s as if it was their last day on the miserable earth. As the narrative continued they bounced from one person to the other in their office – with more blame as to how they did this or that! All the time ignoring the part that they played in this corporate battle of the ‘I am the star’. I appreciate that for many without ever considering the prequel that might have played out only days before might be the factor which distorts this view of “Mondays”. If I was to take ownership of what I do on the weekend and fully appreciate what impact this will have on how I feel on a Monday – would I still do it. Mmm often times yes, as I am only looking and living in the now and not focused on my personal wellbeing. I haven’t been kind to myself or utilised my downtime in a manner that promotes wellness in my mind, body or spirit. Potentially the way I see Monday is a reflection of the way I have treated myself over the last two days looking back over the weekend when I was not kind to myself and I utilised old habits to find some form of solitude. That definitely is impacting on the way I feel both physically and mentally about the start of the week. It is important that leaders recognise this both in themselves and in their teams. Promoting wellness in an organisation should not just be during the working hours if we are creating a culture of wellbeing and a belief in promoting all aspects of it to ensure that our people understand the benefits not only about wellness at work but how to maintain it as part of their everyday life. This comes in the form of greater education and as a higher purpose for the way in which they treat themselves and then respect others. And in this we can help support staff to find a much better work-life balance.

Mantra: wellness is mine to own

Day 14: Bad Habits Die Hard

Today was a little bit of a slow day and something that I needed to own. Of course, we need to have some downtime time however what I have started to recognise in myself is just how destructive I have been to all three of my zones of mind, body and spirit. When left unmanaged I was not nourishing them appropriately and then one would have a knock on effect to the other, the balance between them lost. Falling back into my poor diet habits of just not to eating clearly sent my body into shock as it was enjoying its new diet. This is surprising as I have been feeling great after eating breakfast and a healthy lunch and a balanced dinner and today I did not eat until early evening(if that is what you’d call it), as I consumed two pieces of toast with cheese just before bed. Having explored my diet with Victoria this was one bad habit that I fell back on and the result was clearly not great for my motivation or my sleep. However, this time was slightly different as I chose to consciously feel the effects on my body and mind and I could see a negative correlation. This has been a pattern that I have been doing over the last couple of years blind to the real impact that it was causing. In my first consultation with Victoria, we discussed the importance of nourishment and what the right food brings to the bodies and the impact it has on our wellness. From my perspective, I often fall into bad habits just at the brink of introducing a new one that would benefit me. The question I have been challenged with is – why? I have worked on several organisational transformation programmes and found the answer in the people and businesses that I have worked with over the years and those of which have been challenged by change. Even though the current environment is not benefiting us, it offers comfort in the fact that we know what we know and we know what we get. So often we will either stay in or return to this behaviour as we draw comfort from it. In many cases, we will extend our reach just far enough to get to the edge of our comfort zone and then return home. As a species, I guess this is something we have been doing since our hunter and gatherer days and the early formation of cultures and communities. This cycle just repeats itself whether it be a single individual or a company – reinforcing my point that businesses behave like humans because they are driven by humans. My advice to organisations that want to embark on any transformation is to ensure that you choose the leaders to manage the change carefully as it takes an inspirational leader that is not challenged by risk and has the resilience and open mind to drive it through to the end and beyond.

Mantra: Feed my spirit with the foods I eat.

Day 13 – The Ying and the Yuk

This week I’ve been really focusing on cleansing looking at toxins from the food that feeds my body, the self-talk that fills my head and to the relationships that I surround myself with. I have to say I really felt some toxins flowing through my body today following my session with Martin. This was two-fold as I believe that I let go of so much pent up stress and built-up negative energy during the session. I also then decided to go out and have a few drinks with some friends as this socialising is a very healthy thing to do but I think that the alcohol hit me harder today than normal. I only had two drinks and this is very much in support of a balanced approach to well-being however it is all about timing. Following any massage I have had in the past, I have always been told not to drink alcohol post the experience due to the fact that it can have some adverse effects. Well if a massage was a 5/10 on the Richter scale I would think the session with Martin would definitely be hitting an 8 or 9 in terms for releasing and opening up my body’s energy flow. Hence today I suffered the effects of a killer hangover coupled with the regret of – why did I do that, as I knew better. However, it’s very important for me to recognise that this is a 50-day challenge and it’s all about learning and experiencing new things and setting better and more appropriate limits and rules for myself in support of my own wellbeing. What these early days are showing me is that it is not about getting better and stronger every day as these early days are more about better understanding myself and what is currently working and not in my daily routine. It is all about resetting realistic expectations and guidelines. Also in my search to discover what balance really means to me and others, it reminds me that none of us are infallible. Striving for perfection only adds more stress as the fear of failure can impact on our effort and desire for success. Looking back at the 2017 Human Living Brand project, where I took on a dramatic transformation, the rules were very clear and for 30-days I followed them and I found it quite easy to follow because they were a no break clause. However that was not real life as it was not sustainable. Hence my advice to any organisation or leader that is involved in change or transformation is to slow it down, make it manageable and allow people the time to absorb the difference before moving on. It is also to listen to your people and check in regularly to better understand how they feel and the impact that change has on their wellbeing.

Mantra: Check in on myself and be honest about my feelings

Day 12: Pushing Buttons

It’s really hard to believe that we have now come to the end of week two and as I am looking back I must say that I believe that I am starting to make some small changes on various aspects of my own wellbeing and in that look forward to seeing how these connect to some of the bigger changes that I am looking to make in the world around me. Today I did my first body session with Martin and without question, it was not what I was expecting. I guess I had not appreciated just how much stress and various traumas I’ve been storing throughout my body and the impact this can have not only on its strength but on the way that I present myself. During the session, he worked with and on these stress points and muscle triggers and I can be clear, it was painful. However, it was also strange as the pain was greater in some areas than others and was more held by me than him applying excessive pressure. I did feel lighter and more open in both mind and body after the session and can start to see how all three of these areas (Mind, Body, Spirit) are so interwoven. That is not to say I am any closer to figuring this stuff out yet. At 51 I feel that I have to relearn so much after the last few years when I really stopped paying attention to my own wellbeing. The old analogy no pain no gain has some purpose here however I do appreciate that pain is not the point of this challenge. As I write this and continue to reflect back on the session with Martin as it has left me with a sense of calm. Also with a sense of confusion as it has seemingly released some deeper unconscious energies that I am unsure of. I am really not sure how it all connects together but I can definitely feel that something is happening and areas of my body are finally feeling a little more relaxed and maybe some of the confusion is due to the fact that I’ve just got used to not feeling this way – relaxed.

Mantrakeep an open mind 

Day 11: Time Crunch

The first memory of the day was one of being very heavy headed. My sleeping pattern has definitely started to change and I’m sleeping deeper than I have in ages. The strange thing is I am not feeling that refreshed as it is taking me longer than normal to shake it off. I guess this is one of the things that I have to continuously remind myself about balance is that it is not a one-hit wonder cure and one that will just fix itself overnight. To balance anything it must wobble and move back and forth until it finally slows and comes to a rest. It is in this balancing act that we find the correct point when both sides are in harmony when each is supporting the other. This challenge to look at wellness both from a personal perspective and one of promoting better health within the workplace has been more demanding than I thought. Don’t get me wrong. I am enjoying it and starting to see the benefit however I am still struggling to manage to fit some parts into a busy diary. Just how do people do it? As at the moment, I am still trying to break away from old behaviours and make room for new ones and it is not so easy, but why? Today I had several conversations with individuals in an attempt to find out what others think wellness or wellbeing means in the context of being part of company culture. I had a variety of answers with some people thinking more from the aspect of the body while others directed it more toward mental health. Other conversations included diet and even relationships. At the end of the day, it is a combination of all of these things and I think that I have been managing myself in such an unkind way – I have more work than I thought to find balance with Balance. What I can say is that I believe that to be healthy an organisation must support its culture across all areas considered wellbeing. It is such a vast subject that companies must adopt a diverse approach that supports all of its employees and use a vision of a connected healthy workforce.

Mantra: don’t be hard on yourself!

Day 10: Owning it!

Following on from yesterday I decided that today I would wake up with a much more conscious mind choosing my intentions for the day. So before even getting out of bed, I decided that I was going to do my 10-minute meditation. During this protected time, I made a conscious choice to really focus on the language that I use and the way in which my energy can project onto others. I have to say as the day continued I really did notice a difference not only in myself but also in the way others responded to me. As I tend to think that I am generally quite a happy person and very considerate of others, this focus must extend beyond my holding the door and saying thank you – two of my Canadian favourite past times. During this 50-day Balance: Mind|Body|Spirit challenge I have to continuously remind myself that this is a journey and things are going to be going well on some occasions and not so well on others. Trying to really focus on cleansing this week has been a lot more difficult than I thought having started the week by cleaning the office I would have ticked the box and had a fresh perspective for the week. However, just cleaning away some dust and some old paper in the office is only part of the fix. The toxic environment that impacts on our wellbeing can extend into relationships that we engage in all the way through self-talk and the way we speak to ourselves. This brings a new aspect to the understanding of the effect that the culture in which we work has a massive impact on our wellbeing. Healthy and supportive relationships at work can be make-or-break for many people. Hence my advice is to be more conscious of this and with this awareness, we should seek out those that support a more balanced approach through trust and positivity. Hence my decision to be more present today and seek out those that nourish my spirit and impact my wellbeing in a positive way. We must recognise that we have more power when we consciously control all the toxins that erode use. My advice to all leaders is to own this power and to stand up and put in place protection for their team to remove these from the environment.

Mantra: There is order in chaos

Day 9: The Difference a Day Brings

Having read back yesterday’s blog it seemed that I had got everything sorted and I was on a motivational and positive trajectory however today I seemed less happy and less motivated due to several challenging issues with work and a few personal ones to boot. I guess this is what we call real-life. Over the years I have done my fair share of detoxes whether that be a juice detox, a three-day detox, a five-day detox, as far as the 10-day detox and each time, in the end, I felt some benefit however the journey to that final day took many twists and turns. Each of these focuses on the body and clearing out the build-up of toxins such as alcohol and processed foods. This is a great parallel to any toxins be it food or people. Like this week I am focusing on cleansing and today it really extended far beyond just cleaning the office and making a work environment clean. It became evident that we must also consider our personal cleansing and that’s the cleansing of the stressors and the things that take us away from being the best version of ourselves. I think I am beginning to recognise through the challenge just how much pressure I put on myself to perform and also how much pressure I internalise as I am not very open to seeking the support of others when it comes to showing vulnerability. However, if I am to achieve a higher degree of wellness in my mind, body AND spirit it is very important that I focus just as much on my mind as I do my body simply because they are very interrelated. Today I began to look at many of my own internal feelings, behaviour patterns and the amount of stress that I internalise and with an external smile to let the world see that I am okay. When really behind-the-scenes the constant juggling of pressure seems to be greatly impacting my health and also my performance. Delving a little deeper into my body and spirit it is a labyrinth of crisscrossing connections and more so than I ever thought at the beginning of this project. The interconnection between these three areas is incredibly interwoven. The conclusion that I draw from this is that any organisation looking to increase employee wellness by developing an internal program must recognise the importance of this and to understand the vastness of the subject. As people, we are all different and it is crucial to engage the employee population to find out what wellbeing means to them and how they can be best supported on their own journey. There are so many facets to consider and a cookie cutter approach to employee wellbeing is not the answer. I don’t think there is a bowl of fruit or a ping/pong table big enough to quick fix me at the moment. All jokes aside, I never appreciated the depth of this subject as I, like many leaders, have only been looking at it from the surface.

Mantra: Breath and Relax, one step at a time

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