Day 25: The Power of Others

Today I really focused on the power of others and the joy and inspiration that they can bring to our lives. I really discovered something today that I had not really built into my own wellness plan as I have been so focused on managing all the other stuff into an already packed diary. Between reading up on nutrition, Personal Training, Mind and Body sessions with Martin, this Blog, coupled with preparing to launch two new client projects in London and India, and I cannot forget Buster and his walk time – I have not had much time to just spend with friends. I went to house-sit for a very close friend and decided to go a day early so we could spend quality time together. It was just what the doctor ordered and we spent the night talking, putting the world to right, whilst jumping randomly between subjects ranging from behavioural science, people, politics and personal stuff (not to be shared here). The night was filled with great food, laughing, debating and music. I never even had the desire to turn on the TV, which tends to be one of my habits to pass time away. Hence tonight added another layer to my wellness challenge as it became clear just how much I have slipped into so many unwell habits. As the house of cards falls and we become unkind to our mind, body and spirit, we miss wonderful opportunities to share nights filled with positivity and good energy. However, it does start with us and the power that we have to bring light or darkness to cherished friend-moments like this. I can now see more clearly the number of times that I have used these precious times to use my friends as a sounding board for all that was going wrong at that time. This negative spiral and endless dialogue only further perpetuated the negative and offered no real solution apart from reconfirming to my subconscious that I was the victim of some grave injustice (sounds better in a dramatic voice with some violins playing in the background!). Hence, it is important that organisations reach out regularly to hear the employees’ voice and action what can be done, then clearly communicate with reason why other things may be the way they are. However, leaders need to be more firm and vocal about the negative life draining voices that offer no benefit other than self-perpetuate their own negative feeling.

Mantra: Cherish the light of others

Day 24: Work / Body Balance

Wow! Life is a rollercoaster. Just when I think that I cracked one part of this challenge, I rotate back into this circular pattern of mixed priorities. I woke in the morning and focused heavily on my four ‘value words’ that I wrote down in my session with Martin. I promised myself that I would get motivated and go full steam ahead and ensure my fitness session would fit into the day. Then there was a priority shift and I could not make the 2 pm session as I needed to make a client call. Once again, this challenge is taking such a different direction to that of my dream state. I thought that I would just get better and stronger with each passing day. Instead, I am making conscious connections and learning more about myself, my environment, poor habits, stressors and the many things that are impacting on my un-wellness. What I have discovered is the interconnectivity between my mind, body and spirit is stronger than I have ever imagined and we must focus on all three to achieve a more desirable outcome. It is much like the way many organisations approach employee development in a scattergun approach. There is no real joined-up strategy at the deeper core and hence it is parallel to what I have been doing with my own wellness, lots and lots of band-aid fixes. If an organisation does not establish the deeper connection of its core and root of the culture and its people to the vision, values and higher purpose, then it can easily become unravelled at the first sign of challenge. Much like what I have been doing for many years.

Mantra: Find calm in the journey

Day 23: Turning Words into Actions

Last night I had a great session with Martin. This time he worked on my mind and we spent most of the session talking. Well, most of it was me talking and him listen to gain insight with every word and where on the timeline it sat. As much as I can do this with my clients with respect to brand and culture, I must say that it was very liberating to just get loads of weight off my mind and not my body. One of the things that I often say is when a business is stuck we need to just tear it down and pull out all the dysfunctional thoughts and then rebuild it. Just get the senior management team in the room to talk only truths and clear the air and any misconceptions that have built up over time – almost demobilising the further growth and health of the company culture. The parallel that I draw from this is that the past narratives that I have been holding on to in my head are like my leaders and they are all at odds. I have been holding on to so many past disappointments and hurts that it is really holding me back and truly stopping the authentic me from moving forward. I think that I have spent so long as a consultant and being on stage that I can turn it on when needed. Therefore I can easily wear a brave face, just get on with it and do what needs to be done to survive. And in those words I started to see the penny drop – just how genuine have I really been to myself and hence have been stuck in survive and not thrive. Bridge was built on the strapline of “turning value words into actions’. It was when Martin asked me what my personal true core values were and I instantly wrote down 4 words I realised just how disconnected I have become from my inner being and true passion.

Mantra: Live my values

Day 22: Aligning Priorities

Today very much flew by and reminded me of the variety that we can have on a Monday. We are starting to get busy and a few projects are all backing up so I know this is the calm before the storm. I managed to get lots done and this was most likely a by-product of a very mindful and restful Sunday. I am still not getting any closer to the swimming pool and this is something that I really must focus on. I am still intrigued just as to why I seem to go through so many peaks and troughs with respect to my exercise. As when I go I do enjoy it and feel the benefit of whatever I do. I am still trying to untangle the mess of wiring between mind, body and spirit and they clearly are not lining up. I hear myself using the excuse of work and how this just unconsciously takes priority but I know there is something deeper at play as I would find time for a less healthy past time like a bottle of wine and watching my guilty pleasure TV show, Judge Judy. Hence what I have really focussed on is just how one prioritises better health in a world that seems so easy to slip off the radar and eat what you want – when you want – and watch endless Netflix and social media stalking. There are just so many distractions that I know will not benefit my health challenge – but like moths to the flame I find myself attracted to it all. I believe that this is one area that companies need to reevaluate and that is to give employees more options for downtime. It does not have to be expensive gyms and only organic food however more consideration should be given to employee breaks as much as to their working hours.

Mantra: Look to the future.

Day 21 : The Energy of Others

Following in from Friday’s and Saturday’s blog, I have been doing lots of thinking about the impact that we have on others and vice versa.  Whether we are gaining in from the support we get, such as with me and the Balance team, or the support we give, as I do for Buster.  Today I was very slow to get going and I could see that Buster was mirroring my energy levels as he often does.  As leaders, it is important to recognise how much our energy can have an impact on those around us.  With employee focus groups that I have run over the years with front line staff – management is often cited as one of the top contributors to their stress and unhappiness at work. Let’s go back to Buster for a minute, as eventually, he was tired of waiting for me to get my ass in gear and started barking at the door and acting out. I think you might see the parallel I am heading towards with employees. It is not enough to just give them the right to voice their thoughts on the yearly surveys. Once heard we must activate and do something with the information. Buster is a wonderfully loyal and quite independent character when he wants to be – however he needs my commitment to ensure follow through. Funny as in addition to me giving him want he wanted I got want I needed – the drive and motivation for a fun day.  So top tip to all leaders – spend more time on the shop floor and it just might surprise you as the energy and welcome you receive just might be what the doctor ordered.

Mantra: Embrace others more

Day 20: It’s a Dogs Life

Not all habits are bad habits and today I repeated one of my good habits. Over the last few weeks I have used my early morning Saturdays to take Buster for a long walk on the common and meeting up with a good friend and his dog. Ahhh it is wonderful to see the two dogs together as they are the best buddies and shows the importance that relationships play in wellbeing.  It is also great to see Buster running and running and running and running in circles playing and playing and chasing the ball and other dogs.  It was clear that he was truly happy as he is an incredibly social dog.  Being a beagle he has boundless energy that needs to be realised. He too is an office dog so I also have to ensure that he finds balance with his need to be active. Given the opportunity to do what he loves best – sniffing and exploring and sniffing from plant to pole. It is important to see the multi-facets of wellbeing and be reminded that all of our employees have different desires in how they achieve wellness. It is very important to ask our team what wellness means to them and how they can be better supported by the organisation in their desired approach to have a more balanced and healthy work environment. If I was to use Buster as an example of how I would build a wellness program that supports thoroughly their growth and development but also their mental state then I am sure it would be very complex as everyone has varying degrees of energy and social constructs. Recently I was a little worried that maybe Buster was getting a bit bored in the office as he was sleeping more than usual. Following a little research (thanks to Google) on how much a dog sleeps, it was very interesting to discover that what I was reading coincided with something that Martin had said. In respect to the difference between rest and relaxation, dogs have a very quick switch between the two as they can go from a sleeping state to up and active within seconds. If something grabs their attention they can easily return back to the relaxed state. This is something that humans struggle with as we are constantly on and constantly being challenged to work harder, be stronger, be happier and often don’t find a state of relaxation. Hence this is why mindfulness and meditation are so important to organisations as they give people the opportunity to try to find a better balance in the state of relaxation in order for them to better appreciate their move between states. I highly recommend this practice be introduced to most corporate environments with providing even just a dimly light yet comfortable quiet space where employees can go and de-stress to find their calm.

Mantra: take my mindful minute     

Day 19: Martin, Take Two

I had a really great start to the day and filmed some bits for our Balance project and this is always fun, one day I will watch the blooper real. Working with Phil on this aspect of the project reminded me of what a great team we have put together for Balance. Each individual is a specialist in their own area and each one contributes equally to that of the overall success of the 50-day challenge. It also brought light to the fact that we must take direction from others that know and be humble enough to allow yourself to trust in the process. Looking at organisational culture it’s always important to remember that the team that supports the organisation must approach this from equal standing. Everyone is a specialist in their own right and each lends to the greater good and overall perspective. A company needs a form of hierarchy whether that be departments or management in order that it can function within its structure. However, when we look at a company culture it must be equal if it is to be healthy and well balanced. Each one of us brings something special to the party and I think more organisations should focus on delivering this message to their teams –we are all in it together!! This would allow for a much better-balanced approach and supportive team and bring relationships much more to the forefront. Today was also my second body session with Martin and once again it has left me feeling much more open and again somewhat a little confused and I am not quite sure why. However, I do feel like that I am walking a little taller and have just a little more spring in my step. I guess I just need to let go a little more, and in my own words – trust the process. As he goes through various touch points in my body and releases them the pain can be almost unmanageable but once I begin to let go I can really notice that the pain is less about what he is doing and more about what I have been holding on to. Following his advice, I took some extra time just to myself to reflect not only on the session but on my intention for my own well-being going forward. I am always quick to give advice to others however now it is time I take some and time for me to practice what I preach. I must learn to better appreciate all the positive gifts that I have been given and with a pure intent learn that it is ok to be more kind to myself.

Mantra: Thank you for my gifts

Day 18: Never ending to do list

I think today will be one of my shortest blog posts in the series as I spent most of the day clearing the decks. As sometimes balance is also about removing all those jobs on our desk that need doing. That is what I did today – I sat down and I worked through my list, knocking things off one after another. None of them were amazing or exciting jobs but they were all the tasks that just needed doing. I cannot speak for others but I hold all of these little things in my memory and head and as they build up it creates an overwhelming sense of stress and anxiety. None of them in singular are big but when they come together as a collective I can honestly feel a tightening in my chest, panic and pressure. In order that to begin to progress forward on more creative tasks that require a more open mind and free-flowing spirit, I have to remove this major stressful deterrent. I found balance in just getting rid of the little things and all those jobs that are constantly there and will remain there unless we take them off the list. By doing this today it was as if I could breath again and gave myself the permission to take back the control that these many little weights held over me. I could then have the space in my mind and spirit to focus on the big picture stuff that I enjoy and gain nourishment from. I know in the little stuff is where I often have a lot of stress and I am sure that many other leaders will truly understand what I am alluding to. Even though these jobs maybe be small and seem somewhat insignificant they are constantly on my mind and being held as things that will need to be done later – in this, the task holds the power over me and my mindset. Most have heard the expression that tomorrow never comes, well – it does and I guess it is up to us who owns it – me or that pile of ‘its on my list’. This shows the importance that organisations give employees protected time to just stop and get caught up on all the little things that are impacting on their stress levels and affecting their productivity in the now. Just taking one day and to do all the things that have been adding up in our brain can give it a chance to relax as it has been holding onto these mini weights. I finished today with a massive sense of accomplishment and finally an ability to see tomorrow with a fresh perspective. It was a long day and no great mountains were climbed apart from the insurmountable to-do list. Tick tick and tick… boom

Mantra: take pleasure in knocking off the small stuff

Day 17: Brand… Wellness

Well, I’ve made my list and I’ve checked it twice and everything on it is definitely naughty and/or nice. I guess this sits with the eye of the beholder. I now have the areas that unconsciously call my name whenever I’m feeling stressed, tired, bored or basically low. Today I had a personal training session with Tom and I want to recognise the difference between my pre and post mindset. I have been really enjoying my sessions with Tom. I know that I dragged myself there as I had lots going on – however, I did leave much more alive and more invigorated. This is the message that I need to be sending myself before these sessions, as can you imagine if I entered positive just how much more I would get from the session. This has just hit on a big parallel for me looking at organisations and their internal communication, as it is their job to sell and promote wellbeing in such a manner that individuals embrace it. I think every learning facilitator has experienced the start of a training session and when asking the delegates why they have come, heard the “I was told I had to come” and that they were given no real information that would give them a positive perspective. Much like my internal dialogue is my own personal marketing influencer and sets the stage for how I feel about what is about to happen – the internal comms team must take more ownership on the part they play in promoting wellness and the various opportunities the organisation has available. These should be seen as employee benefits and utilised more to engage employees and build better communities and relationships. I am not getting the full benefits from Tom’s sessions if I am running in 5 minutes late – doing it and then rushing straight back to my desk. This might make my body a little stronger but my mind and spirit are not getting as much out of it. Hence a great internal wellness programme needs to be all encompassing from pre to post and engage employees in the entire journey like any other brand positioning. It needs actions, objectives, information and overarching vision. I need to stop seeing this as a collection of actions but an interwoven and interconnected balance of stimulus that works in harmony to make me stronger, healthier and happier

Mantra: be my own marketer

Day 16: Work/Health Balance

Today was a very busy day as it seems like a lot of things are beginning to happen at Bridge. Coupled with the Balance program, it’s beginning to feel quite overwhelming. On one side I am very fortunate as this project is allowing me to meet many experts on wellness on a variety of subjects and I am learning a lot as I go, however, it is another area that requires my attention. In all of this, I am trying to find more personal balance with regards to wellbeing in my own workplace and daily life. Today I focused on my own resilience and how time pressures can really take its toll on our ability to perform at our best. During periods of such busy schedules, individuals must look at how we manage this workload and still maintain a focus on wellness. I am struggling to build this into my daily activity amongst all the other things I have to commit to – how do people do it? It is so easy to put this on the back burner as the demands of the workplace and others can easily take precedence. Today this was more evident. I had a long dialogue with myself about the things that I should do but I found myself falling back into the habit of putting work first and my health second. The areas that I committed to changing in my health fell by the wayside and I used all the energy to just stay on top of things. I can now see so much more clearly just how quickly the work-life balance can get lost if we do not ensure it plays an active part in our structured day. I am thinking that this is why we need to make the unequivocal commitment to ourselves to break through this barrier in order to give it the time to become part of our DNA. The focus on our wellbeing needs to be threaded into all areas of our lives so that it has strength in numbers and not just one hit wonders like I have been doing for years. I need to be kind to myself and managing this work/health balance needs to be my focus so that it has time to take root and become a new habit. Much like smoking, drinking too much, not going to the gym and negative thoughts find time in our lives – so can more positive influences. Coupled with humility and self-awareness there needs to be a more detailed plan to ensure the outcomes are achieved and health must take equal importance to other things on the ‘to do list’. Old habits are hard to break however, with the right support of others, the right mindset, a clear and agreed plan and a contract with self … umm yea that’s easy!! With all this coming together then we can eventually replace one habit for the other. I truly believe that I can overcome some of the bad habits that I have created by putting work commitments before my own health but it is easier said than done. This mindset shift without question is not going to be simple, as I do find myself falling back into work over health and at this stage of the balance program I feel that I am at breaking point to continue or slowly let it slip. I think I am probably at my most crucial time in needing the support of others because it’s very easy after 3 weeks to start falling backwards. I was given some great advice today and that was to make a list of the 10 things that I must focus on as then my unconscious mind has something to focus on and keep it close to remind my conscious brain of the barriers that I need to overcome. Every transformation needs structure and clear, actionable and transparent goals. To break through this barrier I have to remind myself that I am looking forward to taking on this challenge and it must find space in my busy day. Let’s see how we go…

Mantra: Put my health on the ‘to do list’

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