Day 11: Time Crunch

The first memory of the day was one of being very heavy headed. My sleeping pattern has definitely started to change and I’m sleeping deeper than I have in ages. The strange thing is I am not feeling that refreshed as it is taking me longer than normal to shake it off. I guess this is one of the things that I have to continuously remind myself about balance is that it is not a one-hit wonder cure and one that will just fix itself overnight. To balance anything it must wobble and move back and forth until it finally slows and comes to a rest. It is in this balancing act that we find the correct point when both sides are in harmony when each is supporting the other. This challenge to look at wellness both from a personal perspective and one of promoting better health within the workplace has been more demanding than I thought. Don’t get me wrong. I am enjoying it and starting to see the benefit however I am still struggling to manage to fit some parts into a busy diary. Just how do people do it? As at the moment, I am still trying to break away from old behaviours and make room for new ones and it is not so easy, but why? Today I had several conversations with individuals in an attempt to find out what others think wellness or wellbeing means in the context of being part of company culture. I had a variety of answers with some people thinking more from the aspect of the body while others directed it more toward mental health. Other conversations included diet and even relationships. At the end of the day, it is a combination of all of these things and I think that I have been managing myself in such an unkind way – I have more work than I thought to find balance with Balance. What I can say is that I believe that to be healthy an organisation must support its culture across all areas considered wellbeing. It is such a vast subject that companies must adopt a diverse approach that supports all of its employees and use a vision of a connected healthy workforce.

Mantra: don’t be hard on yourself!

The Nature of Change

It is a reality most of us aren’t very good at handling significant change in our lives. We do a fine job with minor changes and usually handling them easily. It’s the big changes, like redundancy, ill health and divorce, which are often thrust upon us and have a greater impact on our lives that we struggle with. These demand incredible energy, determination and time to manage, get used to and accept and can even need the help of others to cope with.

‘A change is as good as a rest’ describes our ability to manage and even enjoy most changes for a short time simply because we know it’s limited. Make the change permanent and we can perceive life as being hard going, even overwhelming, mentally, emotionally and physically.

There is also a misguided belief that change is somehow an ‘optional extra’ in life. We can keep things ‘the same’, ignoring change if we want to, whilst at some level knowing life moves on and change is guaranteed. This internal conflict creates a tension within us that makes the idea of change in our lives something we are fearful, even terrified, of and try to avoid. We project into the future and live in a world of fearful outcomes. As Mark Twain said, “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened!” It’s no wonder many of us use lots of energy trying to keep things, everything, the same.

Change is an inevitability of life – like the sun rising, tides turning, death and taxes. It’s the scale of change, how it happens and your perception of change that is crucial to your overall wellbeing! Trying to ignore change is a fool’s errand.

Although it can be hard to cut old ties and leave behind the habits, places, and people you’ve become used and accustomed to, it’s always useful to remind yourself whilst familiarity is comforting it also breeds contempt and often for good reasons! Look at the life you are living now. Do you really want absolutely everything to stay the same? Are you certain all the things you are going to leave behind really that amazing and great?

We do like keeping things the same. Maybe we even love it. Stability is necessary for our survival. After all, part of the role of our ego is to protect us by keeping our patterns the same so we have the same results. The ‘what happened yesterday worked so let’s repeat it today’ approach. Too much of anything though is never good for us. We also need stimulation and challenge to thrive and grow otherwise we wither, become scared of new experiences and our world grows smaller and ever more fearful. Our comfort zone shrinks.

Isn’t it great news the ego can be fooled though and will quickly adopt new habits when you make the changes so that those new habits become the new safe zone to live your life from?

Despite some changes in your life being beyond your control and others within it, it’s how you see change and are able to respond to change that makes the difference to your life.

Along with change sometimes feeling overwhelming and taking time and effort to assimilate, it is also exciting, life-affirming and rewarding. It is an essential part of your life and how your comfort zone expands. By recognising the inevitability of change and embracing it you create the opportunities to experience life on your terms.

Like all new ways of seeing and experiencing the world, accepting and accommodating change as a natural part of the process of life takes time and effort. Getting used to enjoying the small changes of walking along a different street to work, buying your coffee from that new cafe that’s just opened or getting up ten minutes earlier than usual are places to start from. Your comfort zone grows and it’s at the edge of your comfort zone where the magic happens.

Time to change?

Martin Feaver, Contributor & Balance Team Expert
Martin is a Life-Coach and Therapist with over 30 years of experience, specialising in treating professionals through his unique philosophy of the Mind-Body Activation.

Day 3: The Storm Before My Calm

I am already feeling the strain of this challenge and it is only day three. My first mindset session has opened up a few cans of worms that have been playing on my mind coupled with a newly found stiffness after my first PT session. However, it is more than that as my stress level seems to be on the up and energy to be on the down. I am thinking that maybe I became more dependent than I thought on the lovely glass or two of wine in the evening coupling with the additional sugar intakes throughout the day. Removing them cold might be a factor but I guess this is all part of pushing through. Also, 2018 was not a great year for me as I purged a few toxic people from my life, however today I met one of them after a long period and must say I could feel the energy shift in me and my resilience dropped. The energy it took to be kind and respectful in light of the hurt and disappointment this person caused. The power of others to impact on our wellness is massive and hence must be considered greatly when looking at the parallel of one person’s journey and that of organisational culture. It can be exhausting having to work with others that do not bring out the best in you or leave you with a sense of stress or negative feelings about yourself. This being a real-time experiment I am not sure what the next 46 days hold. I am excited by the challenge but must be kind to myself and ensure that over this time I find Balance between the discovery that this project brings and maintaining my day job. In the spirit of transparency and honesty, I was very irritable and even irrational at times today as I really feel that my mind, body and spirit are all moving in different directions. However, this is no excuse to project this on to others as yes it is ok to not be ok but we need to be honest about this and should ask for support and compassion from those around us that we trust and respect. Not project outwardly negative emotions that clearly impact those around us – something that I acknowledge I did not manage well today.

Mantra: I own 2019

Day 2: Feed My Face or My Body?

I started to feel better today and made the decision to focus a little more on research around my diet. It has become clear that I have been managing this aspect of my life much more poorly than I ever thought. As part of this research, I have begun reading several articles on diet and different foods that benefit and stimulate a healthier mind and body. Through a new lens, I have started to explore my own diet and see that my yo-yo eating pattern has not been feeding my body the right levels of nutrients needed and how this has extended beyond the body to both my mind and my spirit. I have been treating healthy options as a tick in the box exercise and seeing not eating as an option for weight loss. There has been no consistency and my approach to diet has resulted in my body not knowing when to burn energy, when to save it and when to even ask for it. As a parallel to wellness across an entire organisation how many leaders and employees are living their daily existence in this manner. This clearly has not worked as the right food is not just about feeding my face it is about helping the body fight illness and making it stronger. As with an organisations approach to wellness it is not just about ticking the box, it must be a lifestyle change. I see that I have lots to learn here. It is both important and also fascinating to explore what different foods give the body the assistance or repair its various moving parts. I encourage others comments and advice on more tips for healthy options and how to introduce better eating patterns to others. The science of food is definitely something that I have ignored and therefore have not been benefiting from. I also kick-started my first PT session with Tom which went well and I am sure will be highlighted more in future days.

Mantra: Food is Energy

Day 1: New Beginnings

Today was an interesting day as it kick-started the next 50 days of our deep dive into Wellness but the irony was that I did not feel well today. After a very poor night sleep, I was both tired and not feeling my best. I guess I will need to recognise this in relation to the bigger pitch and hence why this blog will keep track of not only my progress but some of my pitfalls along the way. This whole concept of seeing Monday with dread needs to be challenged going forward as this could be an exciting opportunity to set your intentions for the week. This was definitely not my feeling today as I dragged myself to out of bed. Also having my first mindset coaching session I uncovered a key component of the way we feel often stems from the way we speak to ourselves and outwardly of ourselves. This week I plan to listen more to my own verbiage and to have a more conscious focus on the power I hold in this state. I believe that I have fallen into some very negative a destructive patterns that have not allowed my mind, body or spirit the nourishment it needs to be better functioning. The key parallel that I have pulled from today and one that many leaders need to recognise is the way they feel often sets the tone for the way others in their team feel about themselves and the rest of the organisation. I have never really considered that I was a negative person but after Martin allowed me to be more conscious of some of my outward dialogue I have to say I had a bit of a wake-up call. The first step is admitting that we have a journey to wellness and we are all in different places on this road and to be humble to the fact that the support of others is needed.

Mantra: No more ‘but”

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