I am already feeling the strain of this challenge and it is only day three. My first mindset session has opened up a few cans of worms that have been playing on my mind coupled with a newly found stiffness after my first PT session. However, it is more than that as my stress level seems to be on the up and energy to be on the down. I am thinking that maybe I became more dependent than I thought on the lovely glass or two of wine in the evening coupling with the additional sugar intakes throughout the day. Removing them cold might be a factor but I guess this is all part of pushing through. Also, 2018 was not a great year for me as I purged a few toxic people from my life, however today I met one of them after a long period and must say I could feel the energy shift in me and my resilience dropped. The energy it took to be kind and respectful in light of the hurt and disappointment this person caused. The power of others to impact on our wellness is massive and hence must be considered greatly when looking at the parallel of one person’s journey and that of organisational culture. It can be exhausting having to work with others that do not bring out the best in you or leave you with a sense of stress or negative feelings about yourself. This being a real-time experiment I am not sure what the next 46 days hold. I am excited by the challenge but must be kind to myself and ensure that over this time I find Balance between the discovery that this project brings and maintaining my day job. In the spirit of transparency and honesty, I was very irritable and even irrational at times today as I really feel that my mind, body and spirit are all moving in different directions. However, this is no excuse to project this on to others as yes it is ok to not be ok but we need to be honest about this and should ask for support and compassion from those around us that we trust and respect. Not project outwardly negative emotions that clearly impact those around us – something that I acknowledge I did not manage well today.
Mantra: I own 2019